Bad Lieutenant - Port of call New Orleans

I watched this film a few days back and thought I'd write up a little about it, being as it was actually a lot better than I had imagined it would be.

For starters, it's starring Nic Cage. Now, this is a man who has appeared in some truly GREAT movies over the years but has somewhat been stuck in shitsville of late (from a script point of view, anyways). In this film we see something of the old Cage, a flicker of insanity here and there backed up with a mostly solid performance. He's given plenty of material to work with and his character has a nice arc through the movie. The only thing I'm slightly dubious about is his hair, but then that's been an 'issue' in all the recent stuff he's been in. Plus, I'm not really one to criticize hairstyles - what with being a member of the Larry David school of scalp style and all :-s

OOOOPS I DID IT AGAIN !

The second thing that interested me about this movie was the fact that it's directed by LEGEND Werner Herzog. I thought it was an odd, odd movie for both these two to get involved in. It's a cross between a sequel and a re-imagining of the original bad lieutenant, which in itself was both critically lauded and hated in equal measure. I appreciated the point the original movie was making, to some extent, but the languid pacing and brutal, stark view of the 'lieutenant' and his activities didn't exactly make for compelling viewing. The original Tobe Hooper directed movie is a haze of self abuse, victimization and unsubtle religious symbolism. When I heard there was to be a 'sequel' I thought it'd be a straight to bargain bin rush job, merely designed to titillate and revile in equal predictable measure. I couldn't have been more wrong. What we have here is a film that is both more accomplished than it's predecessor AND a lot more entertaining for the viewer.

While I appreciate that the 'draw' of bad lieutenant WAS watching the grinding misery and self-destruction unfold, Herzog has told a similar tale whilst managing to eschew a lot of what he could easily have carried over with from the 1st part. The film doesn't feel like it's 'missing' anything as a result, and picks up a lot more pace as a consequence. Also, Cage's lieutenant is far less isolated than the character in the first movie - having a wide selection of friends and contacts on both sides of the law. His is a more cavalier balancing act, juggling plates and laughing as they smash. Harvey Kietel's original take on the character was a perfectly acted, slippery descent into misery. In all honesty I think Kietels performance was more POWERFUL, but rendered almost mute by the ham fisted way in which the rest of the film was handled. The new film gives the main character less time to sit and reflect, this time out it's more about action and the scenes move quickly and purposefully.

The presumption that many will make, also, is that Herzog was perhaps NOT the man for the job. I would take umbrage at this, as he has handled the task admirably. Albeit he's made some of the best visceral/deep cinema in the past but he's not flexing these muscles so blatantly here - seemingly preferring to stick with tight narrative whilst occasionally blindsiding the viewer with bizarrely reflective shots and lingering, almost illusory images. This WORKS and I had the feeling throughout of a story being told by someone who knows when NOT to over flourish. This was a problem that affected the first movie to a great extent. Misery is one thing but a 2 hour visual compounding of it can only desensitize and bore the viewer, no ?

New Orleans itself provides a powerful backdrop and a sleepier, more chaotic vision of life than the 1st films setting. I'm not even sure where the 1st movie was set, can't remember, I'd imagine New York perhaps. You would have difficulty not remembering where Herzogs version takes place - the flood waters of New Orleans receding to leave detritus and naked destruction, casting the town itself as an evolving character in the piece.

HELLO EVA MENDES I AM TEH BAD LIEUTENANTS !

With New Orleans as key, the main theme in this film would appear to be reform and change from devastation and failure into order and success. This is at odds with and, basically, opposite of the feeling one is left with after watching Hoopers far more harrowing original. His version is all about the characters descent into incapable, directionless malaise and the decaying of everything around him. Herzog tells a tale that could be classed as 'positive' in a great many ways, from the mending of the broken relationships within his substance dependent family through to the eventual 'busting' of a murderer and Cage's characters subsequent promotion to (bad?) Captain. While the film is still clearly a damning indictment of the way certain people will abuse their power, I couldn't help but warm to Cage's character.

I felt a lot more satisfied with the ending of this movie over the previous film. True, it doesn't tie everything up and still shows us that even after the character has everything he could wish for - he's still BAD (perhaps ?). It's a gentler way of doing so, though, making the Cage version of the character seem almost aimless by the end as opposed to driven to destruction as was the case with Kietels portrayal. This addiction to pattern behaviour as much as the substances/behaviours themselves is a more interesting thing to focus on, I feel. Even when faced with success and a stable life, the lieutenant doesn't seem to know how to be happy - still endlessly seeking out some form of illicit thrill, still attempting to veer onto the wrong road. I think this is something a lot more people will identify with and it result in a more rounded character (and movie as a result) compared to the relentlessly unpleasant outlook/content of the previous movie.

While this was by no means a GREAT movie, I think it actually eclipses the initial version. For me, it was far more entertaining and the characters were a lot better - more rounded as opposed to the mostly one sided scumbags/parasites that peopled the first part. Hopefully Herzog will make some more movies with Nic Cage, as they really seem to work well together and I feel that Cage (or at least the OLD Cage) is capable of some really great, frenzied acting. If Werner is able to bring this to the fore and control it he may well have another Kinski on his hands. That would be a truly great thing :-)

HERZOG AND KINSKI

HAPPY TIMES !

Facebook as a way to doom your career

It's utterly inane how much 'spam' and 'self promotion' stuff I receive from people on facebook. I mean, there's even been times when I've thought 'is it me ? Should I be whoring my every activity out for all to see/read/hear? IS THIS THE DONE THING?' but I've decided that silence is the best option.

I think it's partly TEH INTERNETS to blame but also there's a pervading air of arrogance about all this stuff that kinda brings me down. Music and art shouldn't be about self promotion and validation. If you're looking for that then you should probably fuck off. HOWEVER, there now seem to be so many people on that particular 'tip' that it's making such behaviour perfectly acceptable.

THIS IS HOW I FEEL MOST DAYS WHEN I CHECK FACEBOOK
BUT THERE ARE ALSO BEAMS COMING OUT MY EYES

Imagine you got mail every day from the same person. It's not anything regarding YOU personally and is clearly a generic mailout featuring nothing but trumpet blowing on the authors part. It'd get annoying. At the very least you'd be questioning why it kept arriving. Well, the internet facilitates this on a far more grandiose level. With the postman taken out of the equation you can receive as many mailings as your tormentor can produce mouse clicks.

I've recently culled yet another load of people who endlessly send me the same crap mailout about their music or whatever it is that they do, clearly under the illusion that having more 'fans' on facebook will somehow make a world of difference to them. To be honest, it probably does. Oh, the irony.

Wouldn't you rather people actually BECAME your fans as opposed to asking them "so, um, do you think I'm good ? Do you want to say you're a FAN of me ?". It's all so pathetic and unlolzy. Anyone who fires me more than a few requests about the same thing is BINNED and a black mark goes against their name. Am I the ONLY ONE who behaves in such a manner, I'll warrant not. So, try just letting whatever it is that you do speak for itself - don't shove it in peoples faces a billion times a day just because you CAN.

I should probably confine my 'efforts' to a place such as this over facebook. Facebook does nothing these days but rile me. "Empty vessels make the most noise". My page is full of people being very noisy, most days. Plus, people can come here to read my opinion if they feel like it. They can't, however, complain about it really - it's my party (here) and I'll menstruate heavily if I so desire :-) Facebook encourages some kind of insidious social micro climate where everyone seems to feel it's their god given right to make their opinions known on absolutely EVERYTHING.

ONE FINAL MOAN: I wish people would QUIT posting tracks and videos with 'ooh check me out playing my classic track here' or whatever. That's for OTHER people to do. You don't decide your own work is classic. Especially when it's holding on for dear life to the edge of AVERAGE. I think this is a major problem these days, I've always found in interesting artists they mostly feel their work is poor/could be better. THIS provides artistic drive, as there's always more to be done to reach unattainable perfection. It would seem there's an awful lot of people out there labouring under the illusion that they're already there.

"here's my new release on x*, gonna be a stormer it's BIG". With this attitude can the music in question ever be presumed to be anything but complete bollocks ? Discuss.

*insert meaningless label, desperately trying all avenues to justify its existence.

Teh bad remixkcses crew

This stuff was brought to my attention lately, and I'm SERIOUSLY glad it was. I'm not 100% sure who's all behind it but I know that I approve. There needs to be more genuine comedy in music, to balance out all the SRS stuff that's around nowadays. Maybe Britain needs a war on our own soil to bring about some happy/nonsense songs again ? There have been precious few true gibberish classics since the ol' ww eye eye...

During my masturbatory perambulations through time, I've observed that countries and/or tribes historically steeped in war have a predisposition to develop more positive/brighter art. I'm not saying this holds true 100%, I mean look at Picasso and the Guernica - we all know what that was based on (well, most of you probably don't but that's not my fucking problem go study art history or something). On the other hand Spain were never constantly at war for any major period of time - they've had their troubles BUT they can't really be likened to, say, feudal nations in central Africa (who produce totally sweet music and blow fuck out of things with monotonous regularity, thus in some way validating my point). I'd say the Guernica was more of a disgusted, visceral reaction to something that Picasso found hard to comprehend, as most would (especially with no points of reference for such an incident in his life)

A SMALL SECTION OF THE GUERNICA
FEATURING THE DISTRESSED HORSE

Anyway, I'm through trying to justify why Picasso chose to 'do' the Guernica. The main thing I'm thankful for is that there, centre of the piece, (and it's fucking BIG I've seen it) is a horse in mortal terror. The look on its face is perfect, absolutely HILARIOUS. Actually, maybe Picasso WAS trying to make a humorous statement with this after all. I'm glad I've thought this out. All these years I just thought he was just, well, a bit bitter.

RIGHT well, here's where we get to the actual meat and vegetables of the post. Here, in all their glory, I present three tracks from TEH BAD REMICKS CREW !

You have to go to youtube to watch them, on account of this fucking page cutting off half the video :-s PEST
Anyways here are the links !

KE$HA GABBA MELTDOWN
SUBO HARDTEK KICKOFF
LEADBELLY FACEMELTER

ENJOY !!! MAKE SURE TO GIVE THEM ALL 5 STARS !!!

Time travelling shenanigans

I was in my time machine last night, hovering over the old street tube southern entrance. It's kind of like a tardis except there's more stuff inside to facilitate wanking. I also have several bizarre machines that I've frankly no fucking idea about. When the time machine is on, they are on. I don't ask questions. Plus, there's no one to ask. The man who sold it to me took my money, put it straight into his families account, then shot himself. I believe he had been to the end of time or something equally insignificant and his pea brain did one too many 'fart loops' and just conked out on him. Anyways I'm intending on no such Machen-esque adventures so I'm quite happy to fire up the invisibility field, set hover mode to 20 feet above ground and wank idly out of the door. As I was saying, last night the door was open... Hovering invisibly above the constant throng of people around the station entrance. By staring at EACH and EVERY ONE of their faces, seeing the yawning emptiness of London etched deeply within, I had literally bored myself 'rigid' (in the downstairs department) in less than 11 minutes.

This was something of a record, I observed at the time. Well, I was observing it at 'the times' if we're being honest. I've never been sure of that one. Technically I'm in a time machine from 2010, so it's still 2010 to me BUT I'm also in 2008, so it should also be 2008 to me. I prefer to think I'm from 2010, going with the analogy that if you're travelling in a car at 30mph your body is going at 30mph - even though it feels PRETTY STILL. Have you ever tried to run 30mph ? I've done it a fair few times and it's pretty clear to me that travelling in a car at the same speed feels NOTHING LIKE IT. I thought I was going to die. A few times. Not as in on different occasions, I really thought I was going to die like 3 times or something - ALL AT ONCE !!!

Right, well, I like to pay attention to trends in design and I noticed a really cool poster on the wall down there which I took a picture of. I'm not sure if it's a real poster or a 'teamspray'. There were no obvious spawn points or matches in progress though, so I'm presuming it was real. Either that or I was in a corner of the level that no-one bothers with, a tactical blackspot if you will. Infact, scratch that thought, the words 'tactical blackspot' and 'London underground station' go together like iron filings and babies pubes.

To be honest, London is a shadow of its former self. I wish they would put more ghost generators around the place again. If you go back to 1600 or so there's LOADS, just big piles of bones - TOP level generators. I sometimes jump back there just to hover over graveyards and strange, mazelike cobbled areas throwing a steady stream of rotating axes at the bright white spectres that vomit forth from their accursed lairs. They don't even DIE when the axe hits them, they go GREY and then you have to hit them AGAIN. Same amount of points as a 'normal' ghost, though. WTF? Go figure.

THE POSTER WOT I SAW IN SHOREDITCH

(I may have edited some of the words involved. A bit)

This poster got me wondering about this whole 'advancing' of society that we're led to believe is taking place. I mean, you'd have difficulty getting away with a poster like this these days without 18 billion people calling the BBC and simultaneously reaching a climax of complaint on the topic. I wish points of view was still on. They should bring back Barry Took and fuck off that ginger wreck Anne Robinsons too. She's got her fucking juice empire, what's Barry got ? A namesake in Lord of the rings, used only once in the official cut (? maybe) and that isn't going to be paying his heating bills. The poor bastard. He's dead, so it's a moot point, but I still feel sorry for him and can't help but feel he'd make it back if the BBC apologized for their shameful treatment of him. Imagine taking a MAN off a tv show and expecting that a WOMAN could fill the same spot ?!?! Especially a 'marmalady' (I just made that one up, EXCLUSIVE)

THE INCREDIBLY BRITISH 'POINTS OF VIEW' WITH >BARRY TOOK<
Actually he's maybe not dead. I'm not sure. Still, if he wasn't he'd be even MORE likely to make a return !