Time travelling shenanigans

I was in my time machine last night, hovering over the old street tube southern entrance. It's kind of like a tardis except there's more stuff inside to facilitate wanking. I also have several bizarre machines that I've frankly no fucking idea about. When the time machine is on, they are on. I don't ask questions. Plus, there's no one to ask. The man who sold it to me took my money, put it straight into his families account, then shot himself. I believe he had been to the end of time or something equally insignificant and his pea brain did one too many 'fart loops' and just conked out on him. Anyways I'm intending on no such Machen-esque adventures so I'm quite happy to fire up the invisibility field, set hover mode to 20 feet above ground and wank idly out of the door. As I was saying, last night the door was open... Hovering invisibly above the constant throng of people around the station entrance. By staring at EACH and EVERY ONE of their faces, seeing the yawning emptiness of London etched deeply within, I had literally bored myself 'rigid' (in the downstairs department) in less than 11 minutes.

This was something of a record, I observed at the time. Well, I was observing it at 'the times' if we're being honest. I've never been sure of that one. Technically I'm in a time machine from 2010, so it's still 2010 to me BUT I'm also in 2008, so it should also be 2008 to me. I prefer to think I'm from 2010, going with the analogy that if you're travelling in a car at 30mph your body is going at 30mph - even though it feels PRETTY STILL. Have you ever tried to run 30mph ? I've done it a fair few times and it's pretty clear to me that travelling in a car at the same speed feels NOTHING LIKE IT. I thought I was going to die. A few times. Not as in on different occasions, I really thought I was going to die like 3 times or something - ALL AT ONCE !!!

Right, well, I like to pay attention to trends in design and I noticed a really cool poster on the wall down there which I took a picture of. I'm not sure if it's a real poster or a 'teamspray'. There were no obvious spawn points or matches in progress though, so I'm presuming it was real. Either that or I was in a corner of the level that no-one bothers with, a tactical blackspot if you will. Infact, scratch that thought, the words 'tactical blackspot' and 'London underground station' go together like iron filings and babies pubes.

To be honest, London is a shadow of its former self. I wish they would put more ghost generators around the place again. If you go back to 1600 or so there's LOADS, just big piles of bones - TOP level generators. I sometimes jump back there just to hover over graveyards and strange, mazelike cobbled areas throwing a steady stream of rotating axes at the bright white spectres that vomit forth from their accursed lairs. They don't even DIE when the axe hits them, they go GREY and then you have to hit them AGAIN. Same amount of points as a 'normal' ghost, though. WTF? Go figure.

THE POSTER WOT I SAW IN SHOREDITCH

(I may have edited some of the words involved. A bit)

This poster got me wondering about this whole 'advancing' of society that we're led to believe is taking place. I mean, you'd have difficulty getting away with a poster like this these days without 18 billion people calling the BBC and simultaneously reaching a climax of complaint on the topic. I wish points of view was still on. They should bring back Barry Took and fuck off that ginger wreck Anne Robinsons too. She's got her fucking juice empire, what's Barry got ? A namesake in Lord of the rings, used only once in the official cut (? maybe) and that isn't going to be paying his heating bills. The poor bastard. He's dead, so it's a moot point, but I still feel sorry for him and can't help but feel he'd make it back if the BBC apologized for their shameful treatment of him. Imagine taking a MAN off a tv show and expecting that a WOMAN could fill the same spot ?!?! Especially a 'marmalady' (I just made that one up, EXCLUSIVE)

THE INCREDIBLY BRITISH 'POINTS OF VIEW' WITH >BARRY TOOK<
Actually he's maybe not dead. I'm not sure. Still, if he wasn't he'd be even MORE likely to make a return !